Picking up

I didn't expect to keep up with this blog after I made it. I figured it would just be something I would come back to when I am in the mood to write... and that is exactly what is happening right now. I have no idea what this post will lead to.. so if it doesn't make sense, forgive me.

I think I have lost something... and this is the first time I have admitted it to myself. Maybe because I didn't want to believe or accept the fact that I have lost it. Now... I am not talking about my faith here... but kind of close to that. I think I have lost my faith in my faith. Make sense? Well it's okay, 'cause I don't get it either. Maybe it's the relationships I've made, or maybe it's being so constantly occupied with life. Either way though, there's no excuse to swallowing up the world and forgetting to focus on what is really important to me and what, or more specifically who I want to have a close-knit relationship with.

In life, we take in our surroundings; but I think in a way, our surroundings take us in more. I'm not blaming anyone else for me straying away from what's upmost important to me because it is clearly no ones fault but my own. I know opinions change in life.. but that doesn't mean just because you've heard a new prospective, you have to loose the ideals you have always lived by. The whole point I am trying to make is... I pray that writing this out will help me see that I have not lost touch with my beliefs, more just gotten distracted... and I feel quite guilty for that. If you have read this whole excerpt... I am very sorry.. but thank you for having that much of an interest and wish you a Merry Christmas!